Toronto Sports: Top 10 Rules For Being a Sports Fan

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7) If You Move to Another City for Further Education or Work Reasons, You Can’t Change Your Allegiance to the Team in That Area*

Nov 9, 2014; Orchard Park, NY, USA; The American Flag is displayed on the field prior to a game between the Buffalo Bills and the Kansas City Chiefs at Ralph Wilson Stadium. Kansas City beats Buffalo 17 to 13. Mandatory Credit: Timothy T. Ludwig-USA TODAY Sports

(*Unless the city where you grew up had no professional team; see rule one). By all means go to the games, but you can’t pick them as your new team. Like your wife, it’s “till death do us part.”

Speaking of the missus, and partners in general, you can’t swap over to following her team “just to keep the peace” or because you’re “under the thumb.” (This move automatically brings into question your very manhood and deserves a punch. Not that we condone violence. Normally.)